Wind Chimes
by Seamok
Summary: A love that goes beyond a lifetime. After she died, Rei came back as the form of wind to visit Shinji. One Shot.


Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion belongs to Gainax. I make no profit by writing this fiction. All ideas in this story are my own; similarities with other fictions are purely coincidental.  
  
Author's note: If you read my other works, you would know that I'm a hopeless Rei fan. This is a Rei/Shinji. It contains materials that might contradict your belief. My writing is not the best, but I promise this fanfic is worth reading if just for its content alone. The non-bold italics are Shinji's thoughts.

* * *

**Wind Chimes**  
  
The world had become very cold. Outside the lonely hut by the beach, the wind blew gently, carrying the salty breath of the vast sea with it. The sunlight was gentle as always. This place would have attracted thousands of tourists, if not for the old man residing in the hut.  
  
He was always there, driving away any strangers like an insane old man. The untidy grey hair hung filthily down his head. His clothes were torn; some of the holes were replaced by patches of clothes. His face looked wild, but beneath the madness laid a once gentle face.  
  
After all, this had been his special place for years…the very same place he had waited for her return…  
  
Regardless of what had happened outside, his empty heart had never felt the touch of joy. No matter how cheerful the weather was beyond the walls of his hut, his world would never be warm again.  
  
It was an icy cold…ever since that fateful day…  
  
Ever since the Third Impact, people came and people went. Life and death had no more meaning, except that this old man had to cling on so miserably to life, for he was still waiting for a promise to be fulfilled.  
  
The promise of the girl he loved…the memory was still fresh as if it happened just a day ago.  
  
He walked slowly out of his home and stood there watching the tidal of waves. Alone in the wind, he felt so fragile. He let out another fit of cough, something which had become so familiar. Supporting himself with a stick, he struggled to walk nearer to the sea. He picked a dry spot and sat down.  
  
_Where are you? You promised to come back…_  
  
Perhaps the old age had blurred the old man's senses; perhaps he no longer wanted to believe that dead people couldn't come back to life.  
  
Or perhaps it was love?

* * *

_Flashback_  
  
The alarm of the angel attack rang throughout the Nerv complex. The technicians were running up and down, trying their best to combat the doom of human world. Within the middle of the chaos, stood two young children holding each other's hands in what would be their last time together.  
  
"Don't worry Shinji-kun. Everything will be fine. I have enough experience to protect myself, believe in me all right?"  
  
With that she flashed him a warm smile and reached up to caress his face. Shinji let out a sigh.  
  
"I just wish I could be out there with you."  
  
"Unit-01 is not stable yet. But the Second Child will aid me to my task, so please don't worry, hmm Shinji-kun?"  
  
Her voice was always so soothing. Shinji couldn't stop feeling concerned, but he didn't want her to go out there, knowing that he was down here worrying about her safety. He wanted her to go with a clear mind. Such a delicate girl should never have been forced to combat the beasts outside…  
  
"Only two angels are left, right?"  
  
The girl gave him another warm smile and squeezed his hand tightly.  
  
"Yes Shinji-kun. Once this is all over, we can leave this place, and live a peaceful life somewhere else…just like we promised each other."  
  
"Promise you will come back? Rei-chan?"  
  
"I promise I will. I promise I will always be by your side, Shinji-kun."  
  
They parted unwillingly after that. What happened next was too painful to describe in words.  
  
_End Flashback _

_

* * *

_The sun was now sinking down in the horizon. A chill wind had risen. Shinji felt pain in his joints. He rose up and dragged his tired and weak body across the beach back to his little home. Not for the first time, he had to leave with a disappointed heart.  
  
She had not come back yet. For years he waited, but each time he left the beach, he felt emptiness within his heart. The feeling had never become numb even throughout the years. It was always there tormenting him.  
  
_I will wait for you…_  
  
The interior of the hut was simple to its extreme. There was a grass mattress on the floor, a wooden chair, a little table and a wooden cupboard. Nothing else was in there. Shinji creaked open the cupboard and took out his cello. It had been with him for decades now, but each time he played, the cello seemed to be getting stronger.  
  
On top of the table was a beaker filled with clear water. Shinji sat down on his chair and stared at the beaker for a while. Then tears started to fall down, not an unfamiliar feeling either.  
  
The beaker was the only thing he had left from her. There were no pictures, no letters and no other gifts whatsoever. Both of them were struggling to live after announcing their love to his father. Their allowance from Nerv was cut, only the major supported them. Even so, they lived in poverty, but they had each other.  
  
And those days were the happiest in Shinji's life. But now all he had left was the beaker. Nothing else except fond memories…  
  
With his bony hands, he began to play the tunes he had always associated with his love. He hoped that by expressing himself like this, she would come back from the sea and be with him once more. The wind chimes hanging on the door rang to the sad music filled across the air.  
  
_**Silence of the music; emptiness within your heart. From the sunset till the dawn, you are always holding tightly to your cello…**_  
  
**_In loneliness, you spent countless of years, watching the joy of spring leaves, and the angst of autumn comes. My whispers reach you through the winds, but your true love will never come back again…_**  
  
She never came back. Shinji was too late when his unit-01 arrived at the surface. With a blinding light, his love vanished. And he failed to save her.  
  
_A part of me died that day, and nothing could fill the void ever since. Didn't you understand that, I would never want you to sacrifice for me? Why did you do it? I can never understand…_  
  
Until this day, Shinji refused to believe that his true love had come back. What the doctor showed him down in Terminal Dogma would never be forgotten. The third Rei held no resemblance to the Rei he loved. She didn't remember a thing. When she looked at Shinji, her eyes showed no emotion.  
  
When he joined with her soul and body in the middle of the Third Impact, for a moment Shinji thought that was the Rei he loved. Her eyes for once showed the spark that the second Rei had. Shinji embraced her, and enjoyed his short time with her.  
  
_But it all went wrong…she was not the one I love…_  
  
Was it true that the second and third Rei were two different people? Or was it because Shinji simply couldn't accept the reality? Was he running away from the cruel truth shown to him in Terminal Dogma?  
  
When he saw her giant head break into halves, his heart screamed. Did they have the same soul? Did Rei choose not to return from the sea because of his rejection?  
  
_No!!! I would never have rejected her…_  
  
Perhaps deep down, Shinji knew how hurt Rei was when he chose to kill her in the Third Impact. Maybe throughout these years, he had finally understood. But he just couldn't accept that he had let her down. After all, he wanted to be perfect for her.  
  
**_A thousand and a night of void; you falsely hope that she would still return. Every piece of love in your soul was a pair of butterflies that would always be separated…_**  
  
**_A thousand and a night of tears; these are tears which would fall into your heart. Every drop of tears you cry turned into snow when it touches the icy cold within mine…_**  
  
Years went by, and there was not a single night when Shinji didn't return to his hut with disappointment. Never once had he given up the hope that his love would come back one day. Slowly, his body was eaten away by the cruel ages. His limbs had lost the strength they once had. Hairs were falling down. He barely had any teeth left.  
  
His condition continued to get worse, until finally one day, he could no longer get out of his hut. The chilly wind outside was too much for him. He had waited so long, and all these years his heart had become weak, being hit by sorrows and regrets over and over again…  
  
_Ten years…I'm still waiting for you…  
  
Twenty years…My heart still belongs to you…  
  
Thirty years…Not for once I've given up hope…  
  
Forty years…The world has changed but not my heart…  
  
Fifty years…My love still lives on…  
  
Sixty years…I long to see you again…  
  
Seventy years…My body can't live much longer…Can I see you one last time…?_  
  
For seven decades, Shinji waited for her. Because when he said his love was eternal, he truly meant it…  
  
How many people had said the same thing to their loved ones? And how many of them truly meant what they said? Do they even understand the meaning of eternal love?  
  
_I am the one who understands the meaning. But why am I the one who might never find happiness again? Why am I the one who might never get to see her again?_  
  
"Uncle Ikari? Can you pway the cello for me pleeeaaasee?"  
  
It was the little girl again. She was only about five year's old, but very smart for her age. She would come and visit him very often to listen to him play the cello. Shinji smiled. This little girl was probably the only person who understood his love for Rei, despite her being so young. He found it very amazing and touched that whenever she heard his music, she would silently wipe away her innocent tears.  
  
Shinji took out his cello and started playing. The wind chimes rang again.  
  
**_The storm last night took away the cherry blossoms and scattered the petals everywhere in the wild. Those were the very same cherry blossoms we planted together, do you remember?  
  
For seventy years you've waited for your true love, and yet you never knew the wind when it whispers to you. You would rather live in your memory…_**  
  
_The wind chimes…they always ring whenever I play my cello. Rei, do you remember the time when I used to play and you used to sing along? I miss you so much…and now I'm even starting to think of the wind as your voice…  
_  
When Shinji finished playing, the little girl was weeping again. He handed a few pieces of tissue paper to her.  
  
"Miaka-chan, does the music make you sad?"  
  
The little girl nodded her head as she looked up at him with her sparkling brown eyes.  
  
"Then why do you still want to listen to it?"  
  
She hung her head and stood there for a long time, before she came up with an answer.  
  
"Does waiting for Auntwy Ayanami make you sad?"  
  
Shinji was taken aback by her question. He didn't know how to answer.  
  
_Yes…I guess so…I am always sad when I think about her…because I don't know if she could hear me or not…because I don't know if she would ever return…  
_  
Upon seeing the expression on his face, Miaka continued with her question.  
  
"Then why are you still waiting for her?"  
  
_The wind chimes…it had started ringing again…the wind blowing against my face is so relaxing…it is so soft…it feels like your hand…Rei…_  
  
Before Shinji could answer, Miaka walked up close to him. She put her little hand on Shinji's chest and another on her own chest.  
  
"Because it feels warm here…"  
  
_Why…? Why does she understand me so much…? Is it because she is the only innocent child left? Rei…why can't you be the one who understands?  
_  
The little girl's parents came and picked their daughter up soon afterwards. They were fishermen. Whenever they went out to sea, they would leave their little girl to Shinji's care. He felt comforted that at least there were still people who trusted him, and at least he would spend his last days in the company of this special little girl.  
  
That night, the wind blew gently again as Shinji played his cello. His was coughing non stop and there was blood being coughed out. He knew that his time was nearly up.  
  
_The wind chimes…they are ringing again…it feels like someone is singing…There is also sadness in the wind…is someone crying?_  
  
**_A thousand and a night, I see you every night. It pains me to know that your true love is causing you all this sadness…  
  
A thousand and a night, I hear you cry every night. But how can I soothe your aching heart if you still refuse to hear my whispers…?  
_**  
Shinji still refused to believe that he had rejected his true love. He still didn't believe that the second and the third Rei were in fact the same soul. Subconsciously, he could barely make out the whispers in the wind, but his heart never allowed him to accept that.  
  
_No…I guess that is not true anymore…I think I've accepted the truth. Rei, I'm sorry for not recognising you. You kept your promise. You were there all along. But I failed you, Rei. I failed to see past the walls I erected around me…I'm so sorry…_  
  
He played his cello for the last time. But before he could finish his tune, his arms went weak. Tears streaked down his face, as he realised that not even until his final moment would he get to see his true love again…  
  
_Rei…why have you forsaken me…I love you so much…please forgive me…_  
  
Shinji lived a lonely life, and died with a lonely heart.  
  
_**You will always be in my heart…but the only thing I could do for you now…is to whisper through the winds whenever you play your cello…  
  
**_The wind chimes never stopped ringing that night as the wind gently blew. If only Shinji knew that the wind carried a promise of a girl with it…  
  
**_I promise I will always be by your side, Shinji-kun…_**  
  
It was often for two people to fall in love, but not so often that one could accept a dire mistake, and waited for seven decades without ever regretting. It was not often that the last thing he wished to see was his love, and the last thing he wished was for her forgiveness, even after being punished so severely for seven decades.  
  
_Silence of the music; emptiness within my heart. From the sunset till the dawn, I hold my cello and play through the night…  
  
In loneliness, I spent countless of years, the joy of spring taken away from me, leaving only the autumn angst. I hear the whispers of the wind, the wind chimes telling me that you are somewhere nearby, but I can never reach out to you…  
  
A thousand and a night of void; I hope that you would still return. Every piece of love in my soul is a pair of butterflies that is still hoping to be reunited one day…  
  
A thousand and a night of tears; these are tears which fall into my heart. Every drop of tears I cry seem to turn into snow, but my heart has never grown cold…  
  
The storm last night took away the cherry blossoms and scattered the petals everywhere in the wild. I wonder if you remember that we planted it all those years ago…?  
  
For seventy years I've waited for you, and yet you would rather only live in my memory…  
  
A thousand and a night, I miss you every night. It pains me to know that my sadness can never bring you back…  
  
A thousand and a night, I cry for you every night. But how can my heart heal, knowing that you are still not coming back…?  
  
Your place in my heart can never be replaced…the only thing I could do for you…is to play my cello, hoping that somehow you can hear me, and return to my side…_

The End

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Author's note: If you haven't figured out yet, the bold italics were Rei's thoughts when she visited Shinji every night. I got the inspiration after listening to a very beautiful piece of music. This is written in an hour, and I spent another half an hour or so pre reading it myself. I hope you all like it. This is supposedly a one-shot, but I might make it a trilogy depending on the response I got. Kindly review please. 


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